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Seeing the Forrest Through the Trees: Trademarks of a Good Healer

Nowadays, more & more people are waking up to the idea that there is so much more to life than meets the eye. As the mainstream embraces concepts of energy healing and spiritual awakening, it seems everyone and their brother has become a guru, healer, spiritual coach, etc.

I love how access to nontraditional and holistic practices has become so easily available. I think in general it is great that more and more people are exploring medicine for the spirit.

With that being said, there are plenty of cases (and I’ve seen it firsthand) where the supposed healer is more looking to stroke their own ego than help their client.

So how can you tell if the person you’re thinking of is actually capable of elevating you to the next level?

Well, the first trademark of a good healer is that they’re not going to elevate you- you’re going to elevate yourself!

A good healer is going to ask you more questions than you ask.

For example, let’s say you’re struggling with a relationship in which you feel you are being treated unfairly.

You may receive advice to the effect of: end this relationship!

That may or may not be good advice. To me, it feels incomplete. It feels like treating the symptom but ignoring the cause (which may result in repeat business if you have to keep coming back for more 😉 We’re peeling back all the curtains today!)

Someone who is truly interested in your well being is going to ask questions to uncover things like:

·         Is this a repeated cycle, stemming from previous unhealthy relationships and/or trauma?

·         Ask about how you’ve communicated with your partner.

o   What did you do to advocate for yourself?

o   Do you feel confident your partner clearly understands the problem?

·         Are you sure the problem is them & not you? Do you share responsibility?

o   Have you done your shadow work?

o   Are you reacting from your triggers?

·         How are you going to change the way you conduct yourself to create better outcomes?

Speaking with a great healer is like having a conversation with an old friend. They aren’t going to tell you what to do or how to think- rather they are going to remind you that YOU are in charge of your outcomes, and help empower you to make healthy decisions for yourself. They are more interested in helping you calibrate your own sense of self respect, than being a know-it-all!

Your spiritual stamina, resilience, etc is only going to grow when YOU train and work.

Getting an easy answer will do nothing for you for long term improvement.

The next trademark of a great healer is that they will never ever EVER EVER judge you. Someone who is a good healer/coach/etc will absolutely embody the idea that you can’t shame someone into change. The best ones will show you that you are worthy of love regardless, and by having you fill your own cup, better outcomes will naturally follow.

When discussing situations in which you may feel embarrassed, or could have done something differently, a good healer is going to come across more curious than judgmental. Someone with a good body of experience will know full well that “good and evil” isn’t really a thing. A good healer will want you to love ALL parts of yourself, and help you see how your triggers are actually keys for healing. This is welcomed, not something to be ashamed of!

This also applies to expressing an interest in other providers, or curiosity about other modalities. Someone who truly cares for your well-being will encourage you to explore any avenue so you can gain your own experience. I sincerely question the motives of anyone who tries to prevent you from exploring.

Last, but not least, a good healer is going to set realistic expectations with you. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Not to suggest that you can’t have a profound session with deep healing- sometimes you just have a great day and experience an amazing breakthrough!

But always use your discernment. Your instincts will guide you! Pay attention to how your body feels when you are having your first appointment/consultation/discovery call. If something feels off, even if you can’t articulate it just yet, keep searching until you find someone that is an absolute and uncontested YES.

All my love

Jill Alders

Reiki Master Teacher, Lady of the Lake Reiki










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